21 Days

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Is that a thing that can still be said in the first week of Feb?!  Forgive me if not, but it’s my first blog post of 2018 so I thought it’d be inappropriate if I didn’t say that. I need to catch you guys up on so much, I’m amazed what can happen in just 31 days. January was rather a dramatic month, more trying than anticipated, given that it is my birthday month.

Before I get into the how and why of the 21 days , let me fill you in on all the blanks of this past month. If you didn’t know, last month I celebrated my 28th birthday on January 9th. It’s safe to say when you’re born in the “longest” month of the year that you should definitely lower your expectations on materialistic things such as gifts and just feed on the love, warmth and joy from loved ones. Thankfully for me I’m an extremely sentimental person, so materialistic things don’t hold much weight. I celebrated my birthday exactly how I wanted, I had a child like day filled with copious amounts of ice-cream, gaming, quality, love and laughter. My precious husband made me breakfast that morning and created a pretty outdoor set-up for us and served my favourite breakfast; golden french toast with loaded crispy bacon and a drizzle of syrup. They (he and Kwando) attempted singing the birthday song, but Kwando wasn’t having it. I’ve noticed that he’s not quite enthusiastic if it’s not his birthday we’re celebrating, which I find so hilarious. He genuinely seems upset about all the fuss and attention given to someone else. Soon after, we hit my favourite spot of all time; Northcliff Hill. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it quite a few times on my posts, but please do yourselves a favour and check it out. Please do a sunrise or sunset visit, I promise you’ll come back here thanking me for being so kind. LOL! Besides the fact that it’s where my husband went down on one knee,( hello sentimental queen), it has thee most breathtaking aerial view of the city. I just can’t help but feel so alive when I’m on top of that mountain, it allows me time to just reflect, gather my thoughts and to just breathe.

Once you become a mom you have to make peace with the fact that some of your birthdays will be spent with your child, which I totally don’t mind. I got so much joy out of watching Kwando try to name all the colours, shapes and things he could identify, for me the blessing was witnessing his inquisitive nature at play. He was in complete awe of his surroundings, to see him light up and fascinated by God’s creation was a sight to behold. We took countless photos, many a fail because toddler antics, but I did get a few good ones. The infamous Jozi thunderstorms broke out and we had to unfortunately cut our bonding time short so we decided to head to Monte Casino for lunch and a day filled with gaming activities. When my husband and I were dating, our favourite date night was playing games at the gaming arcade and it’s something we still try to do as often as possible. To be honest it was more about watching Kwando have the time of his life, but as a mom that equals Birthday made and added so much joy to my day. Later that evening I had an indoor dinner at a friends place, a lovely pizza night and quality conversation. I must say the older I get, the more I’ve come to appreciate and cherish such moments. I’m no longer fixated about the quantity, but rather the quality of people in my life. I arrived home to find my husband waiting up for me, ready to complete my evening with a much needed foot massage and thoughtful gift.

My 28th birthday was one of reflecting on God’s goodness over my life. Ever since my father passed away birthdays have become so much harder to face and completely celebrate. Speaking to my mom completely knocks the wind out of my sails, it leaves me in tears every time. Hearing her belt out Happy Birthday without hearing his voice in the background is still so  heartbreaking. I pray with time it will get easier to bear. The kid like “theme” stemmed from wanting to just enjoy my day and to remind myself of how blessed I am regardless of the great loss.

January decided to get a little crazy on the Shandu’s ,few weeks after my birthday a little drama broke out and Kwando was once again hospitalised. Things went from zero to a hundred within a flash, one minute his breathing was controlled and the next thing he had broken out into a complete sweat, struggling to breathe. This was the worst I’d ever seen Kwando making the drive from the house to the hospital absolutely dreadful. I knew he wasn’t going to die, but I wasn’t sure how long his tiny little lungs could handle breathing that heavily. From a healthy baby boy the day before, with zero signs and symptoms to full blown pneumonia and a virus, like HOW SWAY?! And sooner than you can say soon mom guilt kicked in, so many questions and thoughts came flooding in “How did I miss the signs?”, “Maybe I should’ve followed my gut and moved Kwando from his creche” arrghhhhhhhhhh…. It was honestly thee most frustrating week, the first two days were horrendous and nothing seemed to help, not even physio which always seems to alleviate the pressure in his chest. Kwando refused to eat, wouldn’t even take a sip of his juice, he hardly moved wanting nothing but to sleep. For any mom/ parent reading this post you’ll know that the worst feeling alive is seeing your child in pain. You could literally exchange places with them in a heartbeat. You can hardly eat when your child is refusing to eat. From day three Kwando had improved tremendously and by day four the whole paediatric ward basically knew who he was from all the chaos he was causing. He ended up breaking the side of his bed,  screws came flying out from all the jumping he would do. If that wasn’t a sign of ‘Please can we go home’ I don’t what was, but his paediatrician wouldn’t budge. Keeping Kwando entertained in a bedroom, attached to a drip proved to be quite the challenge, on some days I honestly felt like I was gonna lose my mind. We finally got discharged on the 6th day, but by then I had my bags packed indicating to his paediatrician that she had no choice really. As I type this Kwando is a hundred percent himself, playing on the phone. In such times you don’t know what you’d do without the unwavering support from family and friends. I honestly can’t thank my family and friends enough for all the prayers, for having visited him and for all the checking up they did through out the days and even after. He definitely gave me a scare and I owe my all to God for His care and  faithfulness. Unfortunately he’s undergoing a new diet and massive change in lifestyle, because it was his allergies that caused the pneumonia and virus. It’s been quite a challenge which I’d probably say is an understatement. After the blood tests he underwent they found new allergies had emerged and most of what he was originally allergic to had increased. I’ll definitely do a post on the frustrations and how to deal with a child that has allergies some day.

That pretty much sums up my good and not so good moments from my birthday month, so lets get into what this post is all about.

So 21 days…….. 21 days to start the year off on a different note, 21 days off social media away from all the distractions, 21 days of giving my undivided attention to my husband and child, 21 days of creating a healthy lifestyle and most importantly 21 days of pouring myself into God’s Word, deepening my relationship with the Holy Spirit and hearing from God. This year my husband and I decided to embark on a 21 day Daniel Fast starting on the 10th and ending on the 31st of January. Surprisingly, we had never fasted as a married couple and yet we had fasted so many times whilst dating. After our vision board session, we set out to doing things differently this year and that included fasting as a unit. I found this fast quite challenging to say the least, for those of you that aren’t quite familiar with the Daniel Fast here are the guidelines; strictly eating only fruits, vegetables and you may snack on nuts, and the only liquid allowed is water. I’m not a heavy meat lover, so it was the omitting of meat that got to me, but it was more of the ‘Not being able to have what you want when you want it’ and of course the restriction of sugar.

Fasting is a lot about discipline, allowing your Spirit man to be strengthened and the quietening of your flesh. The more time devoted to God’s Word and His presence the more change you will see. Personally as challenging as this fast was, it was also life changing for me. I had never heard so clearly from God then ever before, which may sound so strange for some of you. I committed to journaling my thoughts, feelings and anything God communicated, everyday during my fast. I would encourage anyone considering to fast to definitely consider incorporating this component into the process. My vision for my life seemed so clear, a lot of unknowns and doubts were completely put to rest. I soon realised how much of my time social media consumed so this year I’ve committed to being more disciplined in that area. My husband and I had extensive worship evenings and sharing of God’s Word, which literally made me fall in love with him. I can’t even begin to describe how irresistible I found him when he was leading me in God’s Word, or when He’d share a revelation. It’s so true, the closer you and your spouse get to God, the closer the two of you become. We committed to sharing our experiences every Monday during our devotion time and on Wednesdays.

Although, for the first ten days it was quite difficult to not focus on the food aspect and at times how hungry we both were, it was totally worth it. Personally, physically I’ve never felt better, my skin has a ridiculous glow and I’ve definitely lost any weight I might’ve gained during the festive season. Those testimonies all being bonus factors though, the ultimate goal during this fast was the intimacy with God. And I can truthfully say nothing in this world can compare with the communion I had with the Holy Spirit and the burning desire I now have to live out my purpose for the glory of God.

My worship sessions were so intense that this song has no choice but to be my anthem this year. I’ve typed out the lyrics for you to read and to get a glimpse of how impactful my fast was. This is who and what I ultimately want to be known for, and most importantly how I want to reflect His goodness and glorify Him with and in my life.

I’ll leave the link below if you’re keen to watch the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMcOpekXREU

P.s Please let me know what you think of the blog face lift! Shout out to my hubby for being the best and always having time to assist me, I really appreciate it!

xx

B

 

Title: So Will I ( 100 Billion x)

Artist: Bethel Music

God of creation
There at the start, before the beginning of time
With no point of reference
You spoke to the dark and fleshed out the wonder of light

[Chorus 1]
And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapour of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship, so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve made
Every burning star, a signal fire of grace
If creation sings Your praises, so will I

[Verse 2]
God of Your promise
You don’t speak in vain, no syllable empty or void
For once You have spoken
All nature and science, follow the sound of Your voice

[Chorus 2]
And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature, so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky, a canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You, so will I

[Bridge]
If the stars were made to worship, so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence, so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness, so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high, so will I
If the wind goes where You send it, so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence, so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times!

[Verse 3]
God of salvation
You chased down my heart through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world abandoned in darkness to die

[Chorus 3]
And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You, so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender, so will I
I can see Your heart, eight billion different ways
Every precious one, a child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them, so will I

[Outro]
Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire?
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind

 

Shot by Mikayla Birkholtz @mixtakespics

Outfit details: Mango jumpsuit /  Lovisa earrings