So I thought I’d keep this post light and do a get to know me post, since I really haven’t done one of these on the blog. I decided to keep the list at 10 things, even though I could list plenty more. I tried to share some light-hearted things and a few personal stories just so that you get a sense of the kind of person I am.
1. My love
I still remember the day my sister called me telling me she was pregnant, I was over the moon with joy and she on the other hand was completely riddled with nerves. I literally remember her begging and pleading with me over the phone, to help break the news to my parents cause she couldn’t bring herself to do it. At the time I found it so strange considering her age ( she was 30 at the time), but I realized once I fell pregnant that it’s not as easy as it seems even though I was married. My niece was born two months premature and I’ll honestly never forget the day I first held her, I was overly cautious because of her size. Every sigh or sound she would make made me jump out of my seat thinking something was wrong. I was so devastated when she was born a day after my birthday, because I really wanted that “twin” birthday celebration, but in hindsight I realized that God knew exactly what He was doing, because the spotlight never fades from her. When my husband and I were dating we would go EVERYWHERE with Ono ( that’s her nickname) some people even thought she was our child, because of the amount of time we spent with her. She taught me unconditional love and I really do consider her my first-born.
2. Sports star
Growing up it was a toss-up between being a professional netball player or athlete. My high school years definitely made me realize that my passion for netball outweighed my heart for athletics. I love team sports, I love that everyone gets a chance to shine, as well as the discipline and heart it takes to make things come together. It not only gave me my competitive nature, but it taught me that in life you cannot operate as an island, the right people are necessary for every step of your journey. I was totally convinced I’d make a career out of it and become a Protea player one day, but I had a nasty ankle injury that weakened my joints. I would literally find myself on the court fives times a week including Saturdays, without ever once feeling like it was a chore. I played 1st team at the early age of 14, represented Eastern Cape every year at National Championships from the age of 12 till my matric year. I won numerous awards over the years and received a colours blazer in grade 8, which to date is still one of my proudest moments. I still follow the sport and dream of coaching a 1st team high school or at least completing my level 2 umpire training and umpiring a few club matches. I’ve been wanting to find a club for the longest time, but finding a gap for yourself as a mom is quite the challenge.
3. Young one
I’ll be married five years this September and it’s so crazy to think that I’ll be celebrating my 10 year wedding anniversary at the age of 33. I know I’m getting ahead of myself with that thought, but for me those of the perks of marrying young. Which also means that I got married at the tender age of 23, wow it sounds so young when I say it out loud. So many questioned whether or not I was ready for the commitment, but it honestly didn’t bother me one single bit. I was actually meant to get married at the age 22, on the 22nd of December 2012 but the wedding was postponed to the following year. To those of you reading and may be asking yourselves why I got married so young: The answer to that is when you know, you know. I truly believe there is no right or wrong age for the institution of marriage, but I do believe there is a right attitude and mind-set. My husband had four and a half years to show me the biggest flames, reveal his character traits and expose his flaws, and in those years I felt comfortable with what he displayed and I believed that I was graced to handle who he is and anything else that was to come. My husband wanted us to get married within the first year of dating, but I however was uncomfortable with that, not because I didn’t love him, but I felt it was too premature and our relationship still had a lot of room for growth. I literally stepped into our marriage with the clothes I had packed and all the wedding gifts I received from Amabhaso which is a gift-giving and advice yielding ceremony. Some bride’s might opt to have a kitchen tea or hen’s party. The equivalent of these events in IsiXhosa is called Amabhaso (gifts). This is the time where family members, family friends, friends and in-laws can shower the bride-to-be with gifts.
4. Anxiety
The worst thing that ever happened to me was this debilitating condition and I hate to admit it, but at some point it completely took over my life. It occupied my thought-life, my mind, my emotional well-being, my physical form and even tainted the way I felt about God. I’ve been on and off medication since January 2013 and to date I’m in the process of weaning off the meds. The anxiety, well let me say the panic attacks started out of the blue and it was probably the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I literally thought my body was giving in that day. It’s a debilitating condition that can make one feel extremely isolated and paranoid because it’s more mental than physical. It’s definitely become more controlled over the years, but I must admit that I’ve seen some really rough days before I coming to this point. I lost so much weight that I weighed under 50kgs and at that point food was the last thing I wanted to see. All I could stomach was dry, plain brown bread and nothing else which is a really scary place to find yourself in. Walking to the gate of the complex without having a panic attack was a dream, a prayer, a wish you name it. The thought of being left alone would literally paralyse me because I was so convinced I would die. What started off as the worst year off my life ended on a high because I married the man of my dreams and the cherry on top was that I walked down the aisle without medication. I will do a lengthy post on my journey, in hopes that it might help someone going through a same or similar journey.
5. Birthing planning out the window
My birthing plan did not go as planned, not even one bit, and I must admit at times I get slightly anxious thinking of my second pregnancy because of this. I opted for a natural birth right off the bat, because I’d always desired to push my child into this world. I’m not one of those moms that makes a hero out of a natural birth vs a cesarean, I truly believe that both are equally as difficult and require mental and physical strength at different points. After a conversation I had with a friend about her birthing story, I left feeling so empowered and in awe of what our female bodies were capable of, so I was even more determined than ever before to have a water birth. This friend referred me to Genesis Hospital aka a hotel for moms’ ( click on link) http://www.genesisclinic.co.za/. It’s like birthing in the comfort of your own home, but on a more grandeur scale. The minute I stepped into the hospital premises I felt a wave of peace come over me and I just knew I needed to give birth there. I picked out a midwife duo team by the name of Marlene and Veronica from the list of private midwives that Genesis provides. They were so incredible throughout my pregnancy journey, from start to finish I always felt comfortable and capable. Unfortunately on the day my water broke, at about 5.5cm dilated my midwife spotted meconium (dark green substance forming the first faeces of a newborn infant ) and it was stale, which was highly concerning. I was given about five minutes to decide whether or not I would take the natural birthing route or opt for an emergency ceaser. At this point Kwando’s heart rate was starting to drop, showing signs of distress so of course I opted for the safer, yet more fearful option of being operated on. My absolute worst nightmare, but had I insisted on a natural birth I could’ve lost my baby, because if he inhaled the poop their could’ve been serious complications.
6. Patience is a virtue
I lack patience, there I said it, there can be no sugar-coating this one. It’s a fruit of the spirit I’ve been praying about for years now because I’ve noticed how damaging it can be, more especially in my role as a parent. Parenting requires A LOT of patience and it’s made me face up to the reality that kids were definitely given to us by God to help teach us this. I come from a family that does things in a very fast paced manner, everything must be done efficiently and in record time. Growing up my father was basically a stop watch, he would yell ” Five minutes or I’m leaving you my baby”, so I had to learn the art of doing things speedily. I’ve definitely seen an improvement over the years and I think I owe a lot of that to my husband’s character. I always say this about him, but he’s seriously the most patient person I know, that man can out wait a rock.
7. Weird allergy
I’m allergic to plants. This always leaves people in stitches, or a look of perplexity leading to the famous question” So does that mean you’re allergic to grass too, cause grass is a plant ?”. Honestly it happens like clockwork, whenever this conversation comes up best believe someone will ask me that question. To answer the question, it’s a specific type of plant, but I still haven’t figured out which one it is, after all these years. During my schooling years in East London I’d carry a box of Allergex tablets everywhere just in case it would flare up. If I had an allergic reaction to a plant my eyes would swell up quite heavily and one time it was so vicious that my one eye had completely shut and I had to be rushed to the emergency room.
8. Romance is my middle name
I’m a hopeless romantic, anything that has love screaming from the rooftops will have me smiling from ear to ear. If you’re an avid romcom watcher then you’ll know these movies: The Notebook, One Day, A lot like love, The Vow, The time travelers wife, Love Actually, 10 things I hate about you, Noting Hill and these are just to name a few, but this is Busisiwe Shandu summed up. Love is both feet in, extravagant and passionate, so I really don’t see the point of holding anything back. My husband will vouch for me on this one, I really do believe in happily ever after and the magical stuff you see in the movies. The kind of romantic gestures you see in the movies, I make those things come to life, I really do. I’m an extremely sentimental person, so I believe in taking time to show how much you appreciate someone and I really do give my heart and soul into every romantic and kind gesture I do. I’ve always had this crazy idea of opening up a business that offers a service strictly geared towards men that have no romantic bone whatsoever. But on a serious note I love hard because my Saviour Jesus Christ set the ultimate example, you leave it all on the line for the one you love.
9. Boyish
Not that I’ve completely outgrown this, but I was a tomboy growing up. You’d always find me outside playing with my brothers friends, playing sports such as cricket and rugby. I love to borrow items from my husbands wardrobe and make them my own, which has helped me keep that tomboy edge that I never want to lose. During my varisty years I was obsessed with androgynous dressing, which re-birthed my love for menswear. I do blame this tomboyish stint all on my mother though, she would dress my younger brother and I up in matching boy clothes. I’d literally be in these baggy three-quarter shorts and a vest, and back in those days I sported a german haircut so you can imagine how I much I fit the tomboy look.
10. Talk, talk
I can talk your ear off, and that’s not an understatement. For those who know me personally, you’re probably nodding away in agreement. It’s really one of my talents if their ever was such a thing, lol! I definitely got this trait from my father and it’s something I see in both a positive and negative light. The positive is that I don’t find small talk situations intimating or awkward, because I don’t leave room for silence, ha ha. I really choose to believe that I have the type of personality that makes one feel at ease and I’ve been told I’m the type that will leave you feeling like we’ve been friends for years just after one encounter. However, there is a negative side and after reading the book of Proverbs during our Daniel fast at the beginning of the year I realized that God had a lot to say about it. The Bible gives advice on the skill of learning when to speak and the discernment of knowing when to keep quiet. It’s really something I’ve been trying to put into practice more and more, because I do have the tendency to talk over people and I really dislike that quality about myself.
That’s 10 things and I really hope you enjoyed that! Let me know what surprised you the most about me and please do share something about yourself.
xx
Photography by Mikayla Birkholtz
Wearing: Lovisa hoop earrings | Zara dress
